Co-parenting generally involves working cooperatively to raise children in two separate households. When parents can make those arrangements work, the entire family may benefit. Unfortunately, some parents are less cooperative than others.
Certain parents resent the obligation to share custody. Others simply want to make life miserable for a former partner and may use their co-parenting dynamics as a weapon to achieve that goal. Attempting to raise healthy, well-adjusted children with an uncooperative co-parent can be a challenge.
How can people successfully navigate a contentious co-parenting scenario?
Make use of a parenting app
The more direct interactions parents have with one another, the more opportunities there are for conflict and misconduct. Co-parenting apps help facilitate communication and cooperation while limiting opportunities for conflict. Co-parenting apps keep all of the scheduling details and communication attempts in one centralized location. There is then a verifiable trail of evidence related to scheduling adjustments or hostile communications. Adults who consistently use parenting apps may have an easier time overcoming disagreements and proving the state of their co-parenting relationship if they have to go back to court.
Consider counseling
Co-parenting therapy is a viable option for many adults struggling to share custody. The counselor can help the parents learn how to communicate or cooperate with one another. They can serve as an intermediary to assist with the resolution of disagreements between the parents. If a co-parent isn’t open to the idea of co-parent counseling, the parent dealing with an uncooperative co-parent may want to consider individual therapy. They can have a safe space in which to process their emotions and learn skills that can help them navigate the relationship more gracefully.
Don’t put the children in the middle
Few things are more stressful for children in a shared custody scenario than witnessing overt conflict between their parents. Parents generally don’t need to vent their frustrations to the children. They should not demand that their children take sides or expect them to act as messengers. Parents should make every effort to resolve their disagreements with one another privately so that the children don’t feel the need to take sides.
In cases where co-parent conflict becomes untenable, it may be necessary to take the matter back to family court. Modifying a custody arrangement can potentially help decrease parenting conflict and may ultimately create a more stable home environment for the children.